Monday, June 1, 2009
Giving the Burden to the Lord
Yesterday I was talking with my boys, as we ate dinner, about what they learned in Primary that day. My older son said that they talked about revelation. I asked him what revelation is and he gave me an answer that wasn't quite right. After several questions/answers back and forth we finally come to a conclusion that revelation is a message from God.
It occurred to me that in this past month of May I have received many revelations. Two have come within a day of going to the temple. They both have to do with giving me specific answers in relieving my emotional burdens. Two visits in one month is a record for me. The first time my husband and I did initiatory work. I got done much sooner than my husband so I had to time to wait for him. That gave me a lot of time to think. It was the Friday before Fast Sunday. I had been praying for something and as I sat there in the temple I pondered about my prayer and said some more silent prayers. As we drove home an answer came to my mind. I also received an answer about what to fast for.
This answer was so startlingly simple. I felt like the Lord was taking a great emotional burden from me and saying, "There now, doesn't that feel better? Just let me take care of this."
Fast forward to the end of May. We went to the temple this past Friday again. I have been going through a severe emotional trial and praying for help with it. You know sometimes how you want a certain blessing really, REALLY badly, and you think you are so close to getting it, and then something happens to wipe that away? That's what happened to me this past week.
The day after going to the temple, while being out with my kids at a Safe Kids Fair, and then doing my normal work for a Saturday, I again felt consumed with negative feelings, regarding the delay of this blessing, like I had been feeling for the past few days. I have been consciously telling myself that every time I feel consumed I need to remember my tree of life analogy (see older post), of the Savior being like a tree that takes poison away and turns it into something good. (A tree takes carbon dioxide, a poisonous gas, and turns it into life-giving gas, oxygen.) I have been saying to myself over and over, "I have a personal Savior who loves me and is a god. I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and is a god as well. Together they are bigger than any problem I face. I turn this problem over to Them.")
Saturday night I started to feel another answer come to me as to how to relieve this burden. Again, it was so startlingly simple. I feel amazed I didn't think of it before. It's not the answer I was looking for, but it will carry me, until further blessings come.
I had listened to a podcast of some BYU professors discussing Isaiah chapters 46-48 at byub.org (click on "scripture discussions" and then the Old Testament) on Thursday morning. They talked about how Isaiah warned ancient Israel to turn away from false gods and worship the one true god, Jehovah. One of the professors, said, "Do you want to worship things that you can carry or worship a god who can carry you?" Very aptly put. Today we are in danger of the same thing. I know sometimes I tend to to go the Internet/computer looking for answers (I'm not talking about reference or homework questions, but emotional problems), or worshiping it, instead of going to God with all of my emotional problems, giving them over to Him, and letting Him take these burdens.
I am so grateful to know that God is watching over me, that he communicates to me through personal revelation, and that He is bigger than all of my problems. He has infinite more wisdom than the Internet and all mortals combined. He answers my prayers. He is happy for me to give all of my emotional burdens over to Him.